State of Mind
by lionheartedphil
Summary: Destiel AU. Dean Winchester, fresh in the new world, is lost, deciding one night to head to NYC and follow his childhood dreams. Little did he know, it would be the best decision he would ever make, taking him through love and loss, and forming his life into an incredible adventure.


**A/N:** Hello! so this is the first time I have posted one of my fics, but i'm hoping it goes well!

Rating this for smut in later chapters, Cas should be introduced in chapter two.

So, let me know what you think? :)

Dean Winchester was a 19 year old like many others. He was just beginning his life with wonder and fear tugging at his heart. Most people seemed to dismiss the boy as an average teen, he worked at his uncles auto shop, and wasn't too popular beyond that. What most people didn't know, however, was that Dean had pipes on him equal to that of an angel. The boy had been singing since he was able to speak, following after his mother. He had done a few plays in junior high, scoring leads with his ability to hit every note. When his mother passed away before his freshman year of high school, Dean went quiet. It hurt too much, remembering his mother. He'd rather be numb than thinking of her absence.

Dean was graduated now, unsure of what his future was supposed to look like. How was he supposed to exist happily when daily life seemed to be a mechanic series of rules he was supposed to follow in order to survive?

Dean slid out from under the car he had been working on, his day finally coming to an end. He washed the oil from his hands until the water ran clear before grabbing his coat and heading out of the garage towards his uncle, Bobby's, house.

"Bobby, I'm heading out.", he called as he walked into the familiar home.

"Dean! Hey, hun, why don't you stay for dinner? Jo should be here in a few." Ellen stood in the doorway, smiling at him.

Dean was cut off from answering when Jo, Ellen's daughter and the girl he considered to be his sister walked in behind him.

"Yeah, loser, stick around." She said jokingly as she pushed passed him, following her mom into the kitchen.

Dean let out a huff, deciding that he might as well stick around. He was tired anyway, and not having to cook for himself seemed like a relief. He followed after Jo, walking into the kitchen and being greeted with the smell of home cooking. He helped move the food to the table while Ellen set the dishes out before he took a seat next to Jo. Just as they sat down, Bobby walked in, giving Ellen a small kiss on the cheek before settling down next to her.

"Hey Dean, ya' stickin' around for dinner?" Bobby greeted him.

Dean nodded, giving the older man a small smile before they began loading their plates with food. There was silence for a few moments while everyone ate.

"Thanks for letting me stay", Dean said as he set his fork down on his now empty plate ,"it was great Ellen."

"Course, you know you're always welcome. You're our family, too" She smiled sweetly at him.

"So, how have you been? Any plans for school?"

Dean cringed, done with that question. It's what everyone asked him, like he was automatically supposed to know where his live was going directly out of high school. Dean knew cars, but he also knew that it was a hobby, not what he wanted to do with his life. Beyond that he knew that he had an ability to sing, but he hadn't performed publicly in ages. He kept to himself, singing out of habit while working on his beloved Impala or doing paperwork.

"I dunno, Ellen. I'm not the most talented person on the face of this earth, an-"

"You're kidding, right?" Jo cut him off, "Dean Winchester, the boy who wanted to sing on Broadway, _untalented?_ My ass!" Her eyes were sincere. "Why are you here, Dean? What's holding you back? Sammy has us, so don't try to bullshit me with that. You know he could stay with us 'till he finishes up high school. Dammit Dean, please don't waste your life."

Bobby and Ellen stayed silent, Dean looking between the two. He could see it in their eyes, they agreed with her.

And then it hit him. This wave of impulse, passion, hope. He thought of his mom, of what she would want for him as he fought back tears at her memory. What was he doing? Why did he ever think to give up?

"Dammit Jo, why do you always have to be right?", he muttered, looking up finally.

"Fuck it. I'm going to New York City."


End file.
